JUSTINS EYES ONLY!!!

so this post is only for justins eyes so if your reading now...STOP. but i wanna start by saying, justin i am sorry. i am sorry for being so late last night and not telling you, i am sorry for wanting to always be on top of things all the time with jobs and all. i know i cant always be like that and i am so thankful i have you to teach me how to be more laid back when i've been having to be uptight and controlling my life. i am sorry for doing things you dont want me to do. i know you know what is best for me and you do, its just my stubborn-es sometimes that controls and says "i am right i need this and maybe justins wrong this time".i mean i know you say relax for this year and i will. but i also need to be responsible too. so i have this plan out. i will not work more than 4 shifts per week. none will go past ten and if they do or i even think i will have to stay late i will make sure to call you asap. when i think something you say is wrong or maybe not the right thing for me i will tell you i think that and give you my opinion on it. because i think sometimes i can have a point with some things. but most importantly i want you to know...you are my first priority. i mean when i am at work all i think of is you. last night....i didnt go to bed the time i wanted to. i fell asleep yes. but i woke up cause i heard a car in the driveway turning around and i jumped out of bed and opened the front door to find a car driving away...justin you are my life. i know it may not seem that way all the time but you are. all i ever think about is you. all i talk about is you. when im talking to a friend all i talk about is stuff me and you have done and even if its a dumb topic all i talk about is you! i love you so very very much. you are my world. and tonight and tomorrow will be all about you! i dont give a rats ass if its my stupid birthday, i screwed up and you deserve a good day. so i am going to try and make you a nice supper. and we will do whatever you want to do. i just never want to lose you. you are my life and if i lost my life i would have nothing. i am sorry for all ive done. i love you will all my heart  can give. ♥ forever